A New Home (part 4) by Cyndi Woods

She woke in the morning feeling the sadness from the night before. When would all this end? She often asked herself this question. She rose and performed her daily ritual of dressing and going down to start the coffee. She heard the shower running in her father’s bathroom and knew he would be out soon. Trying something a little different this morning, she thought of a new way to maybe get on her father’s good side. She put together his lunch for him and made extra coffee to put in a thermos so he could enjoy another cup when he got to work. Moving quickly and with some hopefulness, she put it all in his lunch cooler and left it for him to see on the counter. Standing there waiting for her dad, Felicity pushed her hair back in a nervous gesture. Her father emerged from the bathroom and spared her only a passing glance. He went to retrieve his travel mug to pour his coffee into, then head out the door when he spotted the prepared items.

 

“What’s this?” he said pointing at the bundle. “I packed you a lunch today and some extra coffee.” She explained. “Why?” he asked suspiciously. “I just wanted to do something nice for you.” She said faking enthusiasm. He paused eyeing the unusual kindness. Sniffing he said “Well hopefully it’s better then what you attempted to make last night.” He said grabbing it up and closing the door behind him. Felicity stood there staring after him in disbelief. What had just happened? She thought she would at least get a thank you or maybe even an apology for how he treated her last night. He didn’t even show any signs of regret. After what seemed like an hour she gathered her book bag and jacket and headed off to school.

   Roger was waiting for her at her locker and noticed the look of sadness on her face. “Good morning, Felicity.” At the sound of her name she looked over at him. “Hi Roger.” She mumbled. “How are ya doin’ today?” he asked wanting the truth. Pausing for a moment too long she replied, “I’m fine.” “Really? You look a little sad,” he prompted. Staring blankly into her locker, her hand on the door, she said “No. I’m fine”. “I’m pretty easy to talk to or so I’ve been told” he said trying to keep things light. “There’s nothing to say, I’m fine.” She said again. “Well I just think…” she cut him off, “Roger I said I’m fine. Besides we hardly know each other, why would I tell you my problems?” she spat.

  

Blinking twice, Roger regained his standing, “Got it… loud and clear.” He said closing his locker and turning away without a backward glance. She sighed sliding her hand off the locker door. Gathering what she needed for class, she closed her locker and walked down the hall to science.

  

Throughout the day, she kept thinking how she had dismissed Roger’s attempts to be a friend. She took his kindness and threw it back in his face. Isn’t that what her father did to her that very morning? Isn’t that feeling what she vowed to herself after he left that she would never inflict on someone else? Now here she was doing that very thing. She felt so guilty. She wanted to talk to Roger as soon as possible to straighten things out. She went into physics class but he was not yet there. Just as the bell was ringing he came in. But he didn’t sit behind her. There were a couple empty desks over by the window and he went over there to sit. A bit confused, she stared at him and he only looked at her for a second before opening his book and getting a pen.

The teacher began talking but she didn’t really hear what was said. All she could think about was that she may have just snuffed out a new friendship. She didn’t want that to happen. She told herself she would catch him before he left class. He had to go by her desk to get out so she would just snag him before he left. The bell rang and three people decided to congregate right in front of her row of desks. She saw Roger get up and make his way across the room. He seemed to be making a bee line for the door. Excusing herself a few times, she was unable to move past the trio. Calling out his name, he payed her no attention and went out the door.

 

 All but pushing her way through, Felicity finally got into the hallway. Searching and scanning, she saw no sign of Roger. Resigning herself to having to wait until tomorrow to make things right with him, she went to her locker again and retrieved her jacket. Heading outside to begin her walk home, she spotted Roger sitting on one of the benches. He was tying his shoe and didn’t see her when she approached him. He stood and lifted his book bag in one motion. Stepping forward he almost knocked her down. Stopping short and taking in a sharp breath, he said “Felicity!” “Hi” she said not knowing what to say. They stood silent for a moment and she cleared her throat. “I wanted to apologize for how I snapped at you this morning.” She said quietly, looking down and back up again. He didn’t respond which took her off guard. “um… I didn’t mean to take my feelings out on you.” She continued. Still saying nothing he stared at her as if there were a piece missing. Searching his face, she concluded that he was waiting for an explanation about the hardly knowing each other and why would she tell him anything. “I… I want to apologize too for suggesting that we had no friendship.” She offered. He finally showed some sign of hearing her. He looked down and then back at her and said “Felicity, if you don’t want my friendship just say so. I’m not trying to push you into being my friend”. She was startled by the remark. “I do want your friendship Roger, I really do. It’s just my life is complicated right now and I don’t want to drag you into that”, she told him with sincerity. “Complications don’t scare me that easily” he said with a smile. “But I’m not gonna force the issue Felicity. If your uncomfortable with this I’ll understand.”

  

She looked down at the pavement for a moment, then returning her gaze to his, she said “Want to walk me home?” He smiled slowly and said “Sure, that would be great.”