A New Home (Part 3)

Without looking back at him, Felicity said to Roger, “Uh, thanks for walking me home. You better go now.” “But…” he began but she interrupted, “See ya tomorrow.” And with that she disappeared into the house with whom Roger presumed was her Father. He stood there in the driveway for a moment staring at the house. Something wasn’t right here. It seemed unwarranted for her Father to look so angry just because someone walked his daughter home. No, something else was going on. Walking away now he told himself that he wouldn’t be nosey, that he would just get to know her better and let her tell him what may or may not be going on.

Inside the house, Felicity listened with down cast eyes to her Father telling her how she messed up… again, and was too lazy to get up that morning and make the coffee. Him having to stop and pay for it was coming out of her pocket. Why should he have to pay for her laziness? On and on he bellowed about things like the laundry still needing to be finished and where was dinner, she didn’t have time for friends like that kid who she was talking to. What was he doing there anyway? Her responsibility was to cook and clean and take care of things around the house. If she managed to get homework done in there somewhere, fine. But it didn’t matter because she was going nowhere anyway. No one who was as incapable of doing these things as she was, is going to have much of a future. He would end up having to provide for her for the rest of his life. He finished his tirade by yelling at her to start dinner.

Never letting her tear-filled gaze meet her fathers, she took her belongings up to her room and washed up to prepare dinner. As she stood at the sink washing her hands, she looked in the mirror. Her blue eyes still glistened with the tears her dad placed there. His words echoed over and over, “You’ll never measure up, your so lazy, I’ll have to care for you forever.” Feelings of inadequacy washed over her and fresh tears formed. Then her own voice tried to speak above her father’s words. “I can do lots of things, I am the one who cares for him, I’ll have my own family one day. One that loves me and values me.” She often tried to out talk her dad’s cutting remarks. Sometimes they worked and sometimes they didn’t. Today they were unsuccessful. With a heavy heart and a clouded mind, she went to the kitchen to fix supper. She put a casserole together and placed it in the oven. Then she went into the laundry room to put a load in. She vowed to finish all five loads tonight so she didn’t have to hear how incompetent she was with the laundry tomorrow.

Trying once again to imagine she was washing grass stained jeans and little pink onesies along with her husbands work clothes, her thoughts were interrupted by an ungrateful shout from the other room, “When is dinner going to be ready?” Jolting back to reality, she sighed heavily and rose to go check the casserole. Opening the oven door, she gasped quietly. She must have gotten lost in her thoughts. The casserole was burned. Before she could figure out how to fix this, her father stomped into the kitchen. Straightening but leaving the oven door open she blurted “It’s burned.” Looking at the oven her father exploded. “Can’t you do anything right? How hard is it to cook a decent dinner?” he ranted. “Now I have to pay for another one of your mistakes!” he shouted at her. She stood dumfounded as he pelted her with angry hurtful words. “Well I’m going some place where they know how to cook. You can figure out what to eat for yourself. You can eat your own burned dinner.” With that he slammed the door leaving her to deal with dinner. Placing her hands over her face, she sank to the floor and sobbed.

After several minutes, her sobbing turned to sniffs and the slowing of tears. Wiping her eyes and standing again, she went upstairs and washed her face. She returned to the kitchen and scraped the ruined casserole into the trash and fixed herself a sandwich for dinner. She wasn’t all that hungry anymore anyway. After completing three more loads of laundry and putting it away, she heard her dad’s car. With a sigh, she went to the sink and started putting away the dishes she had washed. He came in the door and walked right past her to the living room. She heard the TV click on. Thankful that her father ignored her instead of repeating his earlier rampage. She stayed in the kitchen and just puttered around in there going back and forth to the laundry room. After putting away the last load, she climbed the stairs without so much as a glance in her father’s direction.

Flipping on her lamp she noticed her book bag. Her shoulders slumped as she realized that she didn’t have time with all the chaos that she hadn’t done her homework. Physics and history both had big tests coming up and she needed to study. Also, there was the upcoming book report that she had to finish. As much as she loved the escape to Ireland, she was so overwhelmed with all the work she just couldn’t think straight right now. She changed and climbed into bed, hoping sleep would erase the memories of today.