Stop and Drink the Roses

Stop and Drink the Roses

By Naomi Villaranda

Manic as hell

Bad decisions left and right

Seemingly happy

Having a blast

Love, lust

Drunken bliss

Mania is a liar like that

Oh what a thrill

Throw caution to the wind

You Only Live Once kind of attitude 

But in the back of my mind

Chaos looms

Lingering on the way side 

I know

Depression's watching 

Waiting for the slip

The moment I lose focus

Sometimes barely a moment passes

I lose myself

Everything I am falls apart

Afraid and confused

Broken, lonely, feeling abandoned

Questioning, questioning 

Tearing myself apart

Analyzing all the little pieces 

Why?

So many whys...

An endless war in my heart and mind

I yearn for balance

.

During those days 

I do my best to remember 

I won't always be this way 

Days will come and go 

The extreme ups and downs 

Parts of my life that hinder ‎

Times when I feel broken

‎Each time BPD takes hold ‎

I do my best to survive.

#bpd #bpdthoughts #poetry #poem