Why Me? (Part 3)

   “Well…”, Jill hesitated. “I…just wondered…” she paused. “You want to know how I ended up in a wheelchair?” Randy guessed. She glanced at him then looked down again and nodded. “About five years ago, our family was taking our yearly camping trip together. My Aunt and Uncle go as well with my cousins.” Randy observed his own hands now as they lay clasped in his lap. “My cousin Mike had just gotten a new car and wanted to drive it to the campground. I asked if I could ride with him because his car was so cool and I felt like a big-shot riding with my twenty-year-old cousin.” He fell silent for a moment and Jill looked at him. “Go on” she prompted. He looked at her and with complete seriousness, “He tried to pass a car that was going really slow… but he didn’t see the oncoming truck.” Randy said quietly. Jill’s’ hand went to her mouth in understanding. “I was thrown from the car and woke up in the hospital unable to move my legs.” He explained. “Oh my” she breathed. “A nerve in my spinal cord was severed causing my paralysis.” He said. “So obviously I will never walk again. But I didn’t want that to define my life, Jill,” Randy told her. “Sure, I went through a time of anger, frustration, and even depression, after all, I was only twelve. I wasn’t able to see that far ahead and I thought there wasn’t going to be anything I could do now that I couldn’t walk.” He was looking straight into her eyes now, “I was wrong Jill.” He said seriously. “I might not be able to do things in a traditional way but that’s kinda the fun of it. Finding a way when people think there is no way.”  The smile had returned to his face. “I challenged myself when others said I wouldn’t be able to do something, like joining the swim team.” Randy seemed to go back a little in his mind and he chuckled remembering when he tried out for the team. “The coach told my parents that he just didn’t know how in the world I would be able to do it. But here I am, placing first in almost every meet for the breast-stroke.” He told her with a little pride. “I don’t mean to brag” he said shifting in his chair, “but I have pretty strong upper body muscles.” Jill was impressed. “As far as chopping wood goes, as I said no one does it with their feet so why should that be a limit for me?” he asked. “When I take out the trash, I hook a bungee-cord around the back of my chair, then hook the handle of the trash can to that and roll it down the drive-way.” He explained using hand gestures to show her. “Taking the dogs for a walk is awesome because I hook a leash to either arm rest of my chair and they just take me for a ride.”

   The more Randy spoke, the more Jill felt that there just might be a little hope for her too. “My studies are important to me as I plan to be a grief counselor.” His enthusiasm was back too. “I want to help other people get through tough spots in their lives.” He told her. “Wow”, she breathed again, “Where do you find the strength to do it all?” Jill asked with real interest. “I just feel it is my calling to show myself and others that life is not over because it has changed.” He told her with certainty. “I guess you could say I am a bit stubborn and rebellious”, he laughed. “I just don’t take no for an answer. Of course, there are some things I’m simply not able to do like say kick-boxing.” He said with a wink and a grin. “Fortunately, I don’t want to enter that sport anyway and get my face kicked in, but you get my meaning.” He said.

   Jill asked him with a smile on her face, “And your cousin, is he as positive as you are?” His smile slowly faded, “No.” he lowered his head again. “He… didn’t survive the accident.” Jill’s’ face went flush, for some reason she hadn’t counted on hearing that news. “Oh Randy, I’m so very sorry.” She whispered. “It’s alright, don’t feel bad for asking about Mike.” He said seeming to read her thoughts. “He is part of why I am choosing the field of counseling. I want other people to get the help they need in times of grief.” He said.

   Randy ran a hand through his sandy blond hair and shifted again. “So, now that you know my story, I’m all ears if you want to tell me yours.” Just then the counselor and their mothers returned from their meeting. Both kids turned their attention to the trio. “How’s it going in here?” the counselor asked cheerfully. “Great!” Randy offered for both of them. “We have been talking and are still swapping stories and plotting our next adventures.” He said, looking at Jill conspiratorially. The two mothers glanced at each other and smiled. “I was just about to hear Jill’s’ side of things.” Randy explained. “Oh, fantastic!” the counselor said excitedly. “I have another appointment coming in a few minutes, but if you all would like to continue your conversation, you could certainly do so in our break room.” He offered. “I have a better idea.” Randy’s’ mother Sharon said. Turning to Jill’s’ mom she said, “Martha how about we take the kids and get some lunch, my treat?” “Oh cool!” Randy said, “Can we go get happy meals?” he said in such a way that made Jill question his seriousness. His mother tilted her head and slanted her eyes at her son, “Very funny” Sharon said. “No really, I’m collecting those figurines they have in them right now,” Randy reminded his mother. “Yes, I know, but I was hoping for some place a little more sophisticated this time.” She said rolling her eyes. “Bummer” Randy complained.

   Jill couldn’t help but chuckle. Martha spoke saying, “Well I think lunch sounds great whether it’s a happy-meal or a more adult atmosphere.” They all turned to Jill and waited for her vote. “What do ya say Jill, are you on my team or are ya gonna sell me out?” Randy challenged. She looked at all three adults, then her gaze returned to Randy, “Same team.” She said with finality. Her mother’s eyes glistened, “That’s ok with me if it’s alright with you Sharon?” Martha asked. “Sure, that’s just fine with me.” Sharon said with happiness. “Alright!” Randy exclaimed offering his palm in comradery to Jill for a high five, which she immediately accepted.

   Both mothers thanked the counselor for his involvement in their meeting. Martha took hold of Jill’s’ wheel-chair and led her out of the room followed by Randy’s mom. Jill noticed after they were all in the hallway that Randy was propelling his own chair. They said their goodbyes to the counselor and made their way out the front door. Jill was thinking to herself that if someone would have told her that she would have had such a pleasant experience at her appointment, she would not have believed them. But now here she was, going out to lunch with her new friends, to get a Happy Meal no less. She laughed to herself about that. They were all loaded in their respective vans and were now on their way. They pulled into the McDonald’s parking lot and repeated the routine of getting out of the vehicles. Feeling a bit ridiculous ordering a Happy Meal at her age, Jill did so out of comradery with Randy. After receiving their food, they found a table and Randy dug in his bag to find his treasure. “Aww man, I already have this one.” He said with disappointment. Then he looked at Jill with a devilish grin, “You want to start your own collection?” he asked offering her the prize. She looked taken aback. “Are you serious?” she asked with a giggle. “Yeah, why not?” he asked. “Um, sure, I guess I could do that.” She said not believing she was going to collect happy-meal toys. “Cool. Now we can compare the ones we’ll get. Of course, you will have to catch up to me.” He said with a challenge. “Oh, you’re on.” Jill said, grinning.

   After a while of chatting, laughing, and exchanging of phone numbers, Sharon and Martha announced that it was getting late and they should all get on home. While the two mothers were making plans for their whole families to get together for dinner, Jill began to show signs of nervousness. “You OK?” Randy asked. “It’s just that I don’t really like going out in public a lot, especially to restaurants where everyone has to move to let me through.” She replied quietly. Randy turned thoughtful. “Hey mom, instead of going out to eat, why don’t we cook out at the house so we can all relax more.” He asked. “Besides, I want to show Jill what she’s up against with the happy-meal toy challenge.” He slanted a sly look at her. “Oh, that would be wonderful.” Sharon said, a broad smile spreading across her face. It was so odd how after such a short time knowing Randy, he seemed to know just how she was feeling and how to fix it. He was going to make a terrific councilor she thought.

   They finalized their plans, gathered their things, then headed outside. With Martha pushing Jill and Randy traveling on his own, he leaned over closer to her and said quietly “Don’t think your off the hook with telling me your story. I want to hear all about how you got in that chair.” He told her. He waved goodbye as he got in the van and she returned his wave. “See you in a few days.” Jill’s’ mother called to Sharon. “I’m looking forward to it.” She called back. Jill was nervous all over again as she realized this was Thursday and they made plans for Sunday evening. She only had a few short days to gather her courage to share her story with Randy. She knew she shouldn’t feel so nervous about sharing it, after all, he shared his painful story with her.

   Sunday grew closer and closer. Randy had texted a few times just to say “Hi” and see how Jill was doing. She appreciated his concern but it was a constant reminder that she would have to explain her situation to him. It was so difficult to think about that day and those kids on the school bus, she hoped she could tell him the whole story without sobbing. She wanted him to be able to trust her with his friendship the way he demonstrated that she could trust him. However, her story was very different from his. How could she tell him what had happened to her? It would bring more shame to her already difficult circumstances. Each day went by bringing her closer to Sunday evening. They were to grill burgers and have a corn roast with the promise of a bonfire after it got dark to make s’mores by. It sounded like so much fun and yet she was not really looking forward to it.

   Sunday arrived and Jill woke with nervousness. Randy would be awaiting her explanation of how she came to use a wheelchair. Her mom came into the room to help her shower and dress. “I just spoke with Sharon and we are still on for tonight.” She announced. Jill sighed heavily, “Great” Jill said flatly. Her mom only spared her a passing glance. They completed the tasks of getting Jill ready for the day and her mother went back downstairs to prepare the food they would bring over to Randy’s’ that night. The day passed way too quickly. She had spent most of it looking out her bedroom window dreading her conversation with Randy. Jill was lost in thought staring out the window when her mother came in and said, “It’s time to go.” Jill jumped at the sound of her mother’s voice. They got to the top of the stairs and Martha along with Jill’s’ assistance, lifted her daughter into the automatic chair that would bring her to the bottom of the staircase. They got in the van and Jill tried to put together an opening sentence to her story that was acceptable. Randy was certain to see her differently after hearing that her own father was responsible for her becoming paralyzed. Then once he found out the rest, well, he probably wouldn’t want to be friends anymore.